Persona 5, the latest entry in the long-running Japanese role-playing series, has finally reached store shelves. It’s brought a unique, stylish, and engaging narrative with it, as well as a swath of, shall we say, colorful characters… Much like the mixture of strange and wonderful Personas from the rest of the games.
There are even giant genitals. And no, I’m not kidding.
Personas are the supernatural beings your characters can summon to fight for you in battle. Some are familiar figures from world mythology or tall tales. Other Personas take the form of snowmen, animals, or humans. You never quite know what you’re going to get with this quirky series.
For Persona newcomers and series vets alike, here are five of the weirdest, wackiest, and NSFW Personas you can recruit for your side. Just make sure you prepare the eye bleach for later for that last one. You may very well need it.
The Mitama are representative of the four aspects of Shinto thought, but that doesn’t stop them from being creepy. Ironically, the Mitama that is said to aid in love, profit, and growth is the weirdest of all. Saki Mitama’s wonky teardrop body, pupil-less eyes, and vacant expression make it one of the most unsettling Personas. It also severely lacks the cool points other Persona you can get around the same time have. Maybe it should go back to its day job of being one-half of those yin-yang friendship necklaces that were all the rage back in the 2000s.
Who needs a body when you’ve got a brain like Omoikane’s? This floating central nervous system is based on the Shinto god of wisdom and intelligence, but you would think a God would pick a little more attractive form. As if just being a hovering brain and spinal nerves weren’t strange enough, Omoikane also has four tentacles which end in eyeballs. Jeepers creepers, I don’t want anything to do with those peepers.
When you’ve spent a whole game fusing Personas into lion creatures, Hindu-esque gods, or adorable snowmen, stumbling upon Hell Biker just feels weird and out of place. Like, what’s his deal, anyway? Is he going to run over the enemy or go do some donuts in a parking lot? Not only does this Persona not fit in with its peers thematically, but it’s also basically just Ghost Rider from Marvel Comics. Here’s to seeing Nicolas Cage play him in an upcoming Ghost Rider movie sequel.
“For we are many,” is the way the Bible’s version of Legion described itself. However, I don’t remember any part where Legion was a bunch of ugly heads packed into a ball with nasty, fleshy appendages poking out. For being the creature most likely to influence a demon in Berserk, Legion definitely deserves to be on this list.
Which one of the heads do you think handles the talking when (and if) it gets to go on a date? Just kidding, it’ll never get to go out on a date.
No list of weird Personas would be complete without everyone’s favorite penis in a chariot, Mara. Being a phallic tentacle monster in a golden chariot is strange enough, but the games also make you work for him. Mara is one of the strongest Persona and typically requires a fusion of three or more high-level Personas to create. Having to work so hard for an innuendo on wheels is the real joke when it comes to dealing with Mara.
Just make sure you’ve got a believable story to explain away the fact that you’ve got a male reproductive organ in a wheelchair on screen if your family or friends start asking questions.