I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve had a number of god-awful hangovers. And in those times of “please dear God, kill me” pain, I have consumed some crazy food. Lasagna and waffles? Life changing. I know the shame of looking a waitress in the eye and ordering seven servings of hash browns. But today, the folks at Nissin Ramen must have had the mother of all hangovers, because they invented something horrifyingly beautiful—pizza Cup Noodles! Gaze upon its glory!
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this isn’t even the first time I’ve reported on a pizza and ramen combination. Hell, it isn’t even the first time this month. According to SoraNews24, the full name of this polarizing dish is “Cup Noodle Cheese Pizza Potato Tomato Flavor Big.”
Now, I know what you’re thinking. It’s likely along the lines of,
Does that say potato? I think that translation is wrong.
I wish that you were right (you’re not). And…oh boy…That’s not even the weirdest ingredient in this already zany, pizza flavored ramen dish. The description Nissin puts forth is about as normal as you can expect for a pizza Cup Noodles, but it quickly goes off the rails. The dish starts off with a tomato and cheese broth. Then there’s noodles, pieces of bacon pork, cheddar cheese cubes, potatoes, and…cabbage.
I mean, even for Japan, cabbage isn’t a typical pizza ingredient. We flew too close to the sun, my friends. But, does the addition of cabbage mean I won’t be trying to buy this on eBay? Hell no it doesn’t.
I’m buying one for drunk Graham, one for hungover Graham, and one for sober Graham.
Nissin’s “Cup Noodle Cheese Pizza Potato Tomato Flavor Big” can be yours for the price of ¥205 ($1.85 USD). Godspeed to me and anyone else who dares to dream like I do.